Every person has a thing.

Some people collect shoes.
Some collect watches.
Some collect books they swear they’ll read someday.

My wife collects anything that is a horse or a unicorn.

And I mean anything.

Statues. Mugs. Decorations. Keychains.

And yes.

Plush toys. Lots of plush toys.

It Started Small

Like most collections, it began innocently.

A small horse figurine.
A unicorn mug.
One plush unicorn that looked cute sitting on the couch.

At the time I thought nothing of it. It was harmless. Decorative. Fun.

Then another plush unicorn appeared.

Then a horse plush.

Then another unicorn plush that looked slightly different but apparently was not the same.

I learned very quickly that when it comes to unicorn plush toys, there are important distinctions.

The Plush Herd

At some point I walked into the living room and realized something strange.

The couch had multiple unicorns on it.

Not one.

Multiple.

Some are big.
Some are small.
Some are sparkly.
Some look like they belong in a child’s birthday party.

And then there are the horses.

Soft horses.
Fluffy horses.
Horses that stare at you quietly from the corner of the room like they’re supervising the household.

I have accepted that the plush herd is now part of the family.

Shopping Has Become Predictable

Shopping with my wife now follows a very predictable script.

We walk into a store.

Everything is normal.

Then she stops.

Her eyes lock onto something across the aisle.

I already know what it is before I even turn around.

Somewhere on a shelf is another horse or unicorn.

And sometimes it’s worse.

Sometimes it’s a plush horse or unicorn.

And plush toys have a powerful ability to look adorable and impossible to leave behind.

Next thing you know, we are walking out of the store with another magical creature.

I Have Accepted My Fate

At this point I no longer question it.

Our house now contains:

Horse decorations
Unicorn mugs
Horse statues
Unicorn keychains
And a growing population of plush horses and unicorns

Honestly, if archaeologists ever dig up this house thousands of years from now, they will probably assume this was some kind of horse and unicorn worship temple.

They won’t be entirely wrong.

Honestly, It’s Kind of Awesome

The truth is the house feels warmer because of it.

It’s cheerful. It’s colorful. It’s a little ridiculous in the best possible way.

In a world full of deadlines, work stress, and adult responsibilities, coming home to a couch guarded by a squad of plush unicorns is oddly comforting.

There are worse things to collect.

At least ours come with sparkles and a little bit of magic.