By someone just trying to finish one cup of coffee before the next fire starts
Let me tell you about my life right now.
I’m working full-time in IT — a solo administrator, which is just a fancy way of saying I’m the help desk, the network engineer, the cybersecurity guy, the GIS admin, and the unofficial printer whisperer. The servers don’t just speak to me — they scream. Sometimes in binary. Sometimes in acronyms. Usually when I’m eating lunch.
I’m also married — which, despite what sitcoms might suggest, is not the source of my stress. My wife is my partner, my sounding board, and my most trusted co-commander in this campaign called life. My wife and I migrated from the Philippines, and while we’ve built a life here in California, part of our hearts (and our responsibilities) are still back home. We run an actual finance company in the Philippines — not a side hustle, not a vague startup — a legitimate, registered business that provides loans to small business owners. A finance company that is 7,000 miles away, operating while we’re asleep, and still under my watch. I oversee policy, legal matters, documentation, compliance, and infrastructure — all from across the Pacific.
Managing all of that from another time zone comes with its own special kind of chaos. Just because it’s midnight here doesn’t mean the workday isn’t in full swing over there.
What are those. “Can we talk real quick?” at 1 a.m.? Sure. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love doesn’t mind Excel at ungodly hours. Or impromptu meetings with staff, the lawyer, or the accountant while the rest of California is blissfully asleep, dreaming of things like boundaries and work-life balance.
This fall, I’m starting grad school. Again.
Yes, again. Because apparently juggling one master’s degree in cybersecurity wasn’t enough — so now I’m diving into Geospatial Information Technology. And because I’m a glutton for punishment, I chose the concentration with advanced coding. Because who needs sleep when you can write Python scripts and contemplate the ethical implications of satellite data collection at 2 a.m.?
Oh, and did I mention I’m also squeezing in a certification program? Because somewhere in the depths of my overachieving brain, I decided, “You know what this chaotic soup of responsibilities needs? A side of cert prep.” Networking, security, Azure — name it. I’m probably halfway through a study guide while writing this sentence.
So let’s recap:
- Full-time IT job with enough hats to open a millinery.
- Married to a wonderful woman and business partner.
- Co-running a finance company that operates while I sleep.
- Enrolled in a grad program with advanced coding.
- Studying for certifications in my “free time.”
- Still semi-sane, somehow. Probably.
People ask me, “How do you manage all that without going insane?”
The truth? I don’t know. Maybe I have gone insane — but in a high-functioning, calendar-synced, color-coded kind of way. My stress level has achieved its own sentience. It now politely asks if I’ve hydrated today. Sometimes it even reminds me to stretch.
But here’s what keeps me grounded: purpose.
I do it because I believe in building a future that’s secure, meaningful, and bigger than myself. I do it because I know how far I’ve come — from late-night computer labs to server rooms and global logins. I do it because I love my wife and I want to help make our shared goals a reality. And I do it because, for all the chaos, I actually like what I do.
Sure, I have my moments — staring blankly at the screen, asking the void why the DNS server hates me today. But I also have wins. Like when a cert gets finished. Or when I finally figure out why the fiber uplink wasn’t behaving. Or when a business decision we made from two continents away actually pans out.
Sometimes, I question my professional and career decisions. I look at the late nights, the overlapping calendars, the certification grind, and think — why am I doing this to myself?
It’s not because I like being tortured.
It’s because deep down, I know these choices — messy and exhausting as they are — move me forward. Not always in a straight line. Not always with applause. But forward.
And that’s enough.
So no, I haven’t gone insane. Not yet. But I reserve the right to take a mental health day, curl up with a bag of Hot Cheetos, and binge Star Wars or 80s action movies when necessary.
To anyone out there juggling too many things — you’re not alone. We’re all trying to survive the week, pass the test, ship the patch, pay the bills, and somehow still show up with a smile (or at least not a total meltdown).
And if you ever need a reminder that it is possible to do all this without losing your mind completely… hey. I’m still standing. Tired, wired, and weirdly optimistic.
And when things get overwhelming, I find solace writing in this blog. Because sometimes, the only way to make sense of the madness… is to narrate it — and hope someone actually reads it (which, let’s be honest, can be another source of stress).