Today, I had the unexpected honor of stepping into a very important role: official security badge photographer. That’s right—armed with a camera (and questionable lighting), I was responsible for capturing everyone’s most professional, camera-ready selves… or at least trying to.
Let me just say, people react very differently when they know their face is going to live on a badge for who-knows-how-long. Some were ready for their close-up like they’d been preparing for weeks—hair perfect, smile dialed in. Others walked in like it was a DMV appointment and asked, “Can we blur this?” (No. No, we cannot.)
There were a lot of, “Wait, let me fix my hair,” “Do I look okay?” and my personal favorite: “Can you add a filter?” I’m not a magician, people—I’m just holding the camera.
But honestly? It was a blast. Between the awkward poses, accidental blinking, and debates about which side was “the good side,” we all had a good laugh. I think I saw at least three people strike poses that belong on a modeling portfolio—or a sitcom blooper reel.
By the end, we had a full set of badge-worthy portraits and a bunch of inside jokes. It turns out, taking badge photos is weirdly bonding. And hey, if this whole job thing doesn’t work out, I might have a future in awkward corporate photography.
Coming soon to a lanyard near you: my finest work.