Here we go again. The Senate’s Konektadong Pinoy Bill (Senate Bill No. 2699) promises to connect every Filipino. A noble dream, like curing poverty by committee hearing. They called it “digital inclusion.” I call it Broadband Press Release 2.0.
We passed the Free Wi-Fi for All Act in 2017. What did we get? Free lag for all. Free buffering. Free proof that government cannot implement what it grandstands. If this bill is nothing but another cut and paste from telco lobbyists, better to rename it the Konektadong Bullshit Bill.
Here is what it should actually contain if our senators cared more about Filipinos than their press releases.
Put Up the Damn Money
Connectivity costs money. Not resolutions. Not press conferences. Not Facebook livestreams of senators patting themselves on the back. Money.
Force telcos, ISPs, and Big Tech parasites who profit from Filipino eyeballs to contribute to a Universal Service Fund. Every serious country has one. The United States funds rural broadband through the FCC’s USF. India’s USF bankrolls towers in villages telcos would rather abandon.
And it must be ring fenced by law. Because we have a history of turning infrastructure funds into piggy banks. Remember the Road Users Tax Fund? Supposed to fix highways. Instead, it paved the way for corruption scandals. Remember NBN ZTE? A broadband project hijacked by bribes, killed by scandal, and buried without accountability.
If Senate Bill No. 2699 does not lock the money away from thieves, then we might as well sign it, smile for the cameras, and admit we are idiots who love fucking it up.
Make Them Play Fair
Globe and PLDT rule like Spanish friars. They do not need to be destroyed. They need taming. Let them exist, but make them play fair.
Senate Bill No. 2699 should mandate interconnection, slash spectrum fees for smaller players, and ban exclusive franchise zones. Let cooperatives and LGUs run their own broadband. Make the giants lease backbone capacity at regulated rates.
We have seen what happens when monopolies go unchecked. Meralco in the 1960s kept the lights dim and the bills high until regulation forced change. NAWASA promised water for all, delivered shortages for decades. Monopolies in the Philippines do not compete. They hoard, they overcharge, and they underdeliver.
If we let the duopoly dictate the rules, then we are not victims. We are volunteers. We take it as it is, like idiots, and then wonder why the kids are still climbing coconut trees to send homework.
Force Telcos To Share Toys
Why are there three cell towers standing side by side in some towns, each owned by a different telco? Because toddlers. Instead of pooling resources, they build duplicate infrastructure so they can claim territory. The result is more cost, more delay, and less coverage.
Other countries fixed this decades ago. Singapore forces telcos to share ducts. India turned towers into common infrastructure. Kenya made mobile broadband universal by requiring infrastructure sharing.
We failed at this before. Look at our jeepney system. Every operator insisted on their own fleet, their own routes, their own turf. No integration, no sharing, only chaos. Broadband towers are headed the same way unless Senate Bill No. 2699 forces them to grow up and share.
If we let telcos build more duplicate towers just to flex their logos, then fine. Let us not complain later. Let us just admit we took it as it is like idiots and watched them fuck us over.
Break LGU Hostage Taking
In the Philippines, building one tower means kissing the ring of the barangay captain, the mayor, the city council, the homeowners’ association, and yes, probably the parish priest. Every hand wants a “processing fee.” Every office has a stamp of delay.
We have seen this movie before. Remember the MRT 3? Permits delayed. Contracts politicized. Result? A train system that breaks down daily. Remember water distribution in the 1990s? MWSS dragged its feet while politicians bled it dry, until privatization saved it.
Senate Bill No. 2699 should end this hostage taking. Move permits to a national one stop portal. Thirty days maximum, or deemed approved. LGUs can take revenue shares but should lose their veto power.
But if we let barangay captains and mayors sit on permits forever, then let us stop pretending we want broadband. Let us just say we love taking it as it is, like idiots, and fucking it up ourselves.
Teach Filipinos Not To Be Idiots Online
You give free Wi-Fi to a barangay and what happens? Half the population immediately clicks “Congratulations! You won ₱1 Million.” The other half downloads pirated K drama infested with malware. Free internet without literacy is a free buffet for scammers.
We bungled this before. Remember when government handed out free computers to public schools without training teachers? They gathered dust, locked in storage rooms. Remember the DepEd “tablet program”? Same story. Gadgets without training, budgets without outcomes.
Senate Bill No. 2699 must fund digital literacy nationwide. DepEd must integrate it into the curriculum. TESDA should run barangay level training. Seniors should be taught how not to fall for fake GCash or PhilHealth scams.
If we do not pair broadband with education, then we are basically telling scammers to come feast. And when they do, we will shrug and say we took it as it is, like idiots, and got fucked.
Deadlines. Dashboards. Punishments.
Most Philippine laws are toothless. Aspirations without enforcement.
We promised universal electrification by the 1970s. Delivered it only in the 1990s. We promised efficient transport in Metro Manila with the MMDA. Delivered gridlock instead. Every promise without enforcement becomes another joke.
Senate Bill No. 2699 should demand:
- Minimum speed targets. 50 Mbps average per barangay by 2030.
- Coverage milestones. 90 percent of households connected by 2032.
- Public dashboards. Quarterly online updates exposing failures in real time.
- Penalties. Fines, license suspensions, spectrum revocation.
If we let them pass a law without penalties, we deserve every buffer wheel on YouTube and every dropped Zoom call. We took it as it is, like idiots, and let them fuck us again.
Government Should Lead By Example
How can government promise connectivity when its own offices still use fax machines and typewriters? Require every government office, school, and hospital to be fiber connected in five years.
We have bungled this before. The e Government Masterplan of 2003 promised seamless digital services. What we got was long lines in government offices and eGov projects buried under “pilot testing.” If Senate Bill No. 2699 cannot even wire government itself, then it is already dead on arrival.
And if we let government promise without proving it can deliver, then fine. Let us take it as it is like idiots and fuck it up all over again.
Final Word
Connectivity is not charity. It is not a press release. It is infrastructure. It is survival. It is the 21st century equivalent of roads, bridges, and electricity. Without it, the Philippines will remain Asia’s call center, forever exporting voices instead of brains.
If Senate Bill No. 2699 is just another motherhood statement, then file it where it belongs. In the archives. Alongside NAWASA, NBN ZTE, Road Users Tax, and every other noble promise that delivered nothing but corruption and delay.
Call it what it really is. The Konektadong Platitudes Bill. And if we let it pass in its current feel-good, do-nothing form, then let us not even pretend to be surprised when nothing changes. Let us just admit we were idiots who took it as it is and fucked it up, like we always do.
Disclaimer: Views are mine alone. If any senator feels offended, then good. That means you were the intended target audience.