The systems are duct-taped, the code’s ugly, but uptime’s at 99.9%—you’re welcome. Let’s get one thing clear: I’m not just “in IT.” I am IT. I’m the one-person help desk, cybersecurity team, server admin, database whisperer, application analyst, GIS overlord, report writer, documentation gremlin, project manager, and reluctant code monkey—all rolled into one under-caffeinated, over-Googled human being. You’re welcome. And